A letter to my younger self: concerning the trickster boy.

Dear Savannah,

You precious, unabashed little thing. Let me tell you a story.

Life is not as lousy as they say. In fact, I quite like it, now.

But life isn't always kind. You're going to learn this soon.

You'll meet a boy. (Well, actually, you'll meet several, but more on that later.)
He'll fascinate you like a piece of art. You'll study his every word, his voice, his mouth, the way he sighs when he's frustrated. He will captivate you by just existing. He will fulfill every inkling you ever had about what you think a boyfriend should be like.

You'll say he's perfect. You'll be horribly, horribly wrong.

Instead, he will bring a torrent of pain like rushing water upon you. Be wary of this. Do not fall in love with him. Do not entwine him around your heart, because he comes to take, take, take.

He will make you question everything. He will turn you against your friends. He will use you.

You are a peg in his ladder, not the top rung.

You'll be hurt, and you will sever your ties from him. Good. He does not deserve you. Hold fast, my tender friend.

Wallow in defeat for a while. Sing your pain out at the top of your lungs. (This is why Taylor Swift writes albums.) When your sister sneers at your pain, ignore her. She will understand next autumn.

In time, you'll overcome the pain. Summer will be a memory, and you will move on. You will reestablish your friendships and you will let your guard down.

He will hurt you again. This is your sign to leave him alone. Do not pursue him.

This time, your sister will be the one in tears. You need to be there for her.

Do not say "I told you so". Be kind. Listen to her. Nod and hum and make sympathetic faces while her red eyes squeeze out more tears. Do not tell her you understand, even though you do. She wants to feel justified, like she's the only one who has felt this pain. She wants to cry like a warrior, like a martyr. Do not laugh at her, even though she mocked your pain first. Be strong.

Do not push the trickster boy off of his ladder in anger. The other pegs in his ladder will drag him down to earth for you. They will crack and splinter under his weight. They will drop him like a stone in water. Do not stoop to his level. But do not help him back up.

The pain goes away. You are young and sweet and kind and gentle. You are valuable, even though he couldn't see so.

Love,
Yourself